Turning Night Terrors into Songs
Since my extreme trauma, my nights have been a battleground. Night terrors have haunted me, pulling me into vivid, chaotic worlds that leave me shaken and breathless. I have even had night terrors so extreme I pull muscles in my sleep. But over time, I realized that these experiences, as terrifying as they are, hold a strange power. They tell stories, raw and unfiltered, that deserve to be heard.
At first, I wrote them down as poems—a way to take control of the chaos. Then, as I grew more comfortable expressing myself, those poems turned into lyrics. Now, with every note, every chord, and every line, I’m learning to transform those haunting memories into something beautiful: music.
The Poems That Started It All
Poem 1: "Shadows in the Room"
They stand at the edge of my bed,
Silent whispers scratching at my skin.
Eyes like voids, unblinking,
Waiting for the moment I fall.
I scream, but my voice is stolen,
A prisoner of their darkness.
The clock ticks louder,
Each second an eternity.
And then, they’re gone,
Leaving me with my breath,
My heart pounding a frantic drumbeat
In the hollow of my chest.
Song Version: "Breathless Shadows"
The poem evolved into a haunting acoustic track. The verses are slow and deliberate, reflecting the creeping dread of the night terrors. The chorus bursts with raw emotion, driven by powerful chords and lyrics that echo the struggle to breathe, to wake, to survive:
"Breathless shadows hold me tight,
Stealing dreams in the dead of night.
But I’ll rise, I’ll scream, I’ll fight,
Until the morning gives me light."
Poem 2: "Echoes of Fear"
In the hallway, the echoes sing,
A symphony of fear that knows my name.
Each step forward feels like a trap,
The floorboards groaning under the weight of my dread.
I run, but the hallway stretches on,
Endless, infinite, mocking.
My feet don’t touch the ground,
Floating in a void that swallows me whole.
Song Version: "Endless Hallways"
This poem inspired an ethereal, almost dreamlike track. Layers of reverb and echo create the sensation of being trapped in an infinite space. The melody is hypnotic, mirroring the endless cycle of fear:
"Running through these endless halls,
No doors to open, no one to call.
Trapped in echoes, I can't escape,
But I’ll find my voice and take my shape."
Poem 3: "Silent Screams"
The silence screams louder than words,
A deafening roar in the still of the night.
It wraps around me like a shroud,
Suffocating, consuming, relentless.
I reach out, but there’s no one there,
Just the echoes of my own despair.
The darkness isn’t empty;
It’s full of the things I cannot say.
Song Version: "Breaking the Silence"
This poem became an anthem of empowerment. Starting with a simple piano riff, the song builds into a crescendo of defiance, symbolizing the journey from silence to self-expression:
"Breaking the silence, tearing the seams,
Turning my whispers into screams.
No more hiding, no more fear,
I’ll sing my truth for all to hear."
Why This Feels Important
Sharing these songs feels deeply personal but also necessary. My night terrors are not just mine—they’re a manifestation of emotions many people grapple with: fear, anxiety, isolation. By turning them into music, I’m not just exorcising my own demons—I’m creating something others might resonate with.
Music has always been a universal language. It bridges the gap between experiences and emotions, connecting us in ways words alone cannot. For me, writing these songs has been a way to reclaim my nights, to take back control of the parts of my life that once felt uncontrollable.
The Journey to Express Myself Through Music
I’m still learning. Writing poems came naturally because it felt safe—a private outlet for my thoughts. But translating those poems into music has been a whole new journey. I’ve had to learn about melody, rhythm, and storytelling in a way that feels authentic to me.
At first, it was daunting. How do you take something so raw and give it a structure without losing its essence? But with each song, I’ve grown more confident. Collaborating with musicians who understand my vision has been transformative.
It’s not just about the technical aspects of songwriting—it’s about allowing myself to be vulnerable, to let others hear the parts of me I used to hide.
What’s Next
This is only the beginning. I’m working on an album that tells my story in full, from the darkest nights to the brightest moments of finding peace. Each track is a step forward, a way to show that even the most terrifying experiences can be transformed into something meaningful.
If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own fears or overwhelmed by the weight of your thoughts, I hope these songs remind you that you’re not alone—and that there’s always a way to turn pain into power.
Closing Thoughts
Writing music from my night terrors has been one of the most challenging and rewarding things I’ve ever done. It’s a reminder that even our darkest moments can hold a spark of creativity, waiting to be uncovered.
If you’ve ever thought about expressing yourself through art—whether it’s music, writing, painting, or something else—let this be your sign to start. You don’t have to have all the answers or be perfect at it. Just begin.
You never know what beauty might come from the chaos.
References
“The Healing Power of Music Therapy” – American Music Therapy Association
“The Science of Nightmares” – National Sleep Foundation
“How Songwriting Can Help Mental Health” – Psychology Today
