A Gentle Guide for Life After Trauma
Where to Begin When You Don’t Know What to Do
Trauma can feel like the ground beneath you has disappeared, leaving you floating in a world that doesn’t make sense anymore. If you’re reading this, you’ve likely experienced something life-altering—something that’s left you unsure of what to do next.
First, let me say this: you’re not alone. I suffered a life-changing trauma late in 2021. Every day I still struggle with it.
Healing after trauma is a journey, and while it’s not always easy, there is hope. Here’s a gentle guide to help you take those first steps.
1. Start Where You Are
Healing doesn’t need a grand plan or perfect timing. Start exactly where you are. If getting out of bed feels impossible today, start by sitting up. If finding the words to express what you’re feeling is too much, try just one word. Small steps are still steps forward. And like progress at the gym, you can’t see it after one session. Be patient and that body of your dreams eventually takes shape.
Reminder: Healing isn’t a straight path. There will be good days and hard days, and that’s okay. Let yourself move at your own pace. The goal will be to eventually have more good days than bad, but it’s okay that it starts out backwards.
2. Reach Out for Support
Healing can feel lonely, but you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or even a hotline. If speaking feels too overwhelming, start with a text or email.
Professional help can be life-changing. Therapists trained in trauma, like those specializing in EMDR or CBT, can help you process your experiences in a safe and supportive way. If it takes time to find the right therapist, that’s okay. Keep going—you’re worth the effort.
It took me 6 different therapists until I found the right combination of people to help me. There is no shame in this. I truly believe my EMDR therapy saved my life and I encourage you to look into it.
Resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – Dial 988 in the U.S.
BetterHelp – Online therapy from licensed professionals.
Talk to ChatGPT - I have actually found this super helpful and satisfying
Local trauma survivor support groups (search online for nearby options).
3. Create a Safe Space
When the world feels overwhelming, having a place that feels safe can help. This could be a corner of your home with a cozy blanket, a playlist of calming music, or a notebook to write in. A safe space can also be mental: imagine a place where you feel secure and revisit it when things get heavy.
Directly after my trauma I used to hide in my closet. I was 30 years old and had basically made a pillow-fort in my tiny apartment closet. It was the only place I could run when I was feeling terrified. Now, my whole house is my safe space, carefully curated and there is comfort in every room.
Reminder: Safety looks different for everyone. Experiment to find what feels right for you.
4. Focus on the Basics
Trauma can make even the simplest tasks feel massive. Start small:
Sleep: If sleep feels elusive, aim for rest. Try calming routines like tea or soothing sounds before bed. Meditation can help quiet your mind, count backwards from 100 slowly by imagining your hand drawing the numbers on a chalk board. This is one of the biggest challenges I faced post-trauma, I would sleep 4 hours on a good night, and I can tell you that making sure you get enough rest is best for your brain to recover.
Nutrition: Nourish your body with foods that feel manageable. Simple, nutritious snacks are just fine. After my trauma I was told to eat anything I could and whatever I wanted. This advice led me to gain 30 pounds and feel even worse about my body. Don’t forget to give your brain and body the care it deserves by feeding it well. Those nutrients you eat will go right to your healing brain.
Hydration: Drinking water is a small but powerful act of care. If I may be so odd to suggest that you thank your water before drinking it. Water has been proven to have memories in dozens of experiments, if you pour gratitude into your water, it does help you to feel better.
Movement: Gentle movement—stretching, yoga, or a short walk—can release built-up tension.
Reminder: Progress, not perfection. Do what you can, and let that be enough.
5. Express Yourself
Trauma can make you feel like your voice has been taken. Creative expression can help you reclaim it. Journaling, painting, singing—whatever feels right—can be incredibly healing. You don’t need to be an artist; this is about letting out what’s inside. Although I had never been passionate about music, I started writing songs and poetry. I even hired someone on fiverr to sing one of them and the whole experience was magical.
Ideas to Try:
Write down three feelings, even if they’re messy.
Doodle without worrying how it looks.
Sing your favorite song at full volume.
6. Set Boundaries
Your energy is precious, especially after trauma. It’s okay to set boundaries to protect yourself. Say no to things that feel too much, take breaks from social media, or ask for help when you need it. Boundaries aren’t about pushing others away—they’re about creating space for yourself.
One of my doctors had encouraged me to share on my social media. I had made it public thinking anyone who was struggling would feel empowered by my journey. They did not. A lot of people reached out with hurtful and truly hateful things to say. Some girls told me I should kill myself. Others went into details about how my boyfriend’s death was entirely my fault. In hindsight, my doctors should’ve known that the world can be cruel. I wish I had stayed off social media instead of relying on it.
Reminder: Boundaries are self-care. They’re not selfish—they’re necessary.
7. Seek Moments of Joy
Joy might feel impossible right now, but even small moments can help. Watch a funny movie, sit in the sun for a few minutes, or pet a furry friend. Joy doesn’t erase pain, but it reminds you that light still exists. We aren’t looking for the light at the end of the tunnel yet, as there is too much darkness to see the end. Instead, we are just trying to figure out the shape of the tunnel around us. Eventually you’ll make it to the light, but don’t be frustrated when you don’t see it yet.
Reminder: It’s okay to feel joy, even when you’re hurting. Healing is about holding space for all your emotions—the good and the hard.
8. Be Kind to Yourself
Trauma can leave you feeling broken or not enough. Here’s the truth: you’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.
Celebrate the small wins, speak gently to yourself, and remember that healing is a journey—not a race.
9. Look Toward the Future
The future might feel uncertain, and that’s okay. Healing isn’t about forgetting—it’s about learning to carry your experiences and move forward. Little by little, you’ll find ways to rebuild and reimagine your life. The road may be long, but you don’t have to walk it alone.
Reminder: You are resilient. Even on the hardest days, you are still here—and that’s a victory.
If you’re reading this, you’ve already taken a brave step by seeking guidance. Healing after trauma is hard, but it’s possible. Start small, lean on support, and remember: you’re not alone.
One step at a time, you’ll find your way forward.
And in case no one has told you yet today: you’re doing a great job.
I’m proud of you.
